Just over a month ago I met a guy that didn't make me laugh. If you read my previous post you know I clearly had to say "yes" when he asked me out. I am still dating him even though he's not funny to me. It's been a fairly laughless road so far and I don't foresee that changing. He doesn't crack jokes or make witty comments and he gets an odd expression whenever I do. I haven't quite figured out if that expression means he doesn't get what I just said - and therefore doesn't get me - or if he understood it perfectly and just doesn't think I'm funny. What amazes me most is how intriguing I find this reaction. It's almost like I continue dating him just because I have no idea why he continues to pursue me if we can't laugh together. It made me realize just how pertinent I think laughter is to a relationship.
I have also had to reflect on how previous relationships, and choices I've made in them, have effected my life overall. You see he lives in a town I used to live in and when I lived there the guy I dated lived where I live now. (All very full circle, I know.) Going to his house takes me past places I used to haunt many moons ago. And not much has changed in the small town he lives in so lots of old memories have surfaced. When I lived there I was floating and my boyfriend at the time threw me a line. Because of the old relationship, I ended up in a different state with a new job and a new career path. I made contacts and friends and built a life that ultimately didn't include that guy. But it all started back in that small town when I thought I knew a lot about love, myself, what I wanted, and how to make a relationship work. Turns out I really knew nothing.
Now I find myself at a crossroads again. I'm about to go off in pursuit of a new dream and new career but I'm being offered a stable small town life filled with many of the things I think I want. This time the only thing I know for sure is I know nothing for certain. But now I don't need someone else to throw me a line. I can tether myself. Maybe that's part of why I find this new fella so enticing because, although I don't laugh as much as before, I haven't lost my sense of self with him.
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