Lack of Blogs

I have written several things over the past few months that aren't really fit for sharing. Or they aren't at the moment anyway. So, that is where I've been - dealing with a tumultuous summer and writing things I don't wish to share. But, I decided to put this grief filled summer behind me and begin again. So, here's to a fantastic fall!

Mourning

There is a black and white picture that sits in a photo collage created by my great-grandmother. It is a picture of my grandparents, circa early 1950's. They are quite young, early 20's, if that, and they are holding each other turned slightly to the camera and they are both smiling their genuine smiles. They look very happy, like they are about to go on an adventure and all they need is each other. I have been fascinated by that photograph since I was a young girl, maybe five or six, and stayed at with my great-grandmother, Nana, for the night. I could hardly take my eyes off it and couldn't believe that those two people in the picture were my Grammie and Grandpa. I must have asked a million questions about that photograph until Nana, normally a very patient woman, said she wouldn't answer anymore questions about it. Not only is it a beautiful moment captured in time but it has always been the symbol of life for me. I grasped, in that weekend, that everyone starts out a certain way and life ages, and changes, a person. It made me dread growing older but it also made me admire my grandparents in a whole other way.

My Grandpa passed away today. It wasn't entirely unexpected but it has still left me grieving. He was amazing but also so common. He was stern, unyielding, and sometimes unkind but he was also generous, supportive, and the most positive male influence for much of my life. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and he always took the time, often on the sly, to let me know he thought I could do whatever it was I was doubting myself about. Some of my fondest memories of childhood center around him. Him coming home from work on an average summer day while I was playing in his front yard. Or overnights at his house and kissing him goodnight as he snored on the couch. Campouts in his backyard, jumping off the dock in New Hampshire into his waiting arms, playing wiffle ball in Massena, and learning about baseball by watching Mets games with him. So many of the things I learned before I left home I learned from him. And oh so many more he taught me once I was on my own and floundering as I tried to be a grown-up. He offered great advice and I wish I'd heeded more of it.

He was an average guy by so many standards but to me he was so much larger than his 6' frame. He didn't express love in words very easily but he knew how to give a hug that let you know you were loved. He led an admirable life if only for the fact that he's so greatly missed. He was once full of dreams, hopes, and aspirations that photograph is proof of that. But he made choices in life and altered courses for his family and did things that many didn't like and many others loved. He lived a life and made the best of it.

He helped to make me the person that I am and I will miss him, and his guidance, beyond measure.

"Dance Your Cares Away...

Worries for another day. Let the music play. Down in Fraggle Rock!"

So, I just heard they are making a movie out of one of my favorite television shows from my childhood - Fraggle Rock! I loved Jim Henson's creations as a kid, (Muppets anyone?) and Fraggle Rock was exceptional in my opinion. I cannot wait for this movie to come out. It is to feature puppets and people just like the original series. It supposedly will not have any computer animation either. Just old fashioned puppets.

I found this on YouTube, it's the opening scene from the television series. Now you can catch the Fraggle Rock Fever, too!

The New Bob

I read somewhere that there are only so many types of people in the world and you spend your life encountering those same types in different shells. It is supposedly why so many people remind you of someone you used to know. I had a friend for several years - more than 10 - named Bob. We met while we were both in college and working at Pizza Hut, became friends, tried dating, and then went back to being friends. We remained friends for many years and stayed close until a couple years ago when life took us in different directions. I've missed Bob in a lot of ways since our friendship ended but I mostly think that's because I didn't have a replacement "Bob" to fall back on. That is until now!

The "New Bob" isn't really named "Bob" but he might as well be - they are two peas in a pod. The New Bob is so much like The Old Bob that it is uncanny. They have similar senses of humor, are quick-witted, can have intelligent conversations with many tangents, know of obscure television shows to turn me onto, have no fashion sense, and rarely leave the house if they can help it. But my favorite part of The New Bob is the same thing that kept me friends with The Old Bob for so long - he finds me hilarious. You see, I sometimes have trouble finding people to be around that are similar to me in that I look for the joke to crack, the witty turn of phrase that the occasion begs for, and often say it without thinking. Not everyone enjoys that aspect of my personality and few people actually do the same and vie to get their wise-ass comment out first. I love the competition of who is funnier. Because even if I don't win I still end up laughing. The New Bob is a fierce competitor too, which keeps me on my toes.

Don't get me wrong I have several witty friends- JJ and KC immediately come to mind. However, they are both female and whilst I thoroughly enjoy spending time with them they do not have a male's mind. Men, like Old Bob and New Bob, don't usually hold back when engaged in witty repartee. Sometimes that means something that clearly needs to be said to you is said - usually quite harshly but with enough wit that you still laugh but pause to examine the point. Men with this personality are also quick to point out when other men are lame. Which is a helpful thing to have in a friend.

I like The New Bob - he's a good addition to my social circle and makes the day at work go by very quickly and humorously. Makes me glad I took this new gig and got to meet a personality I'd been missing.

Outside Adventures

So, I was able to leave the house finally! All of my pox scabbed over so I am no longer contagious. Nothing really exciting happened I am just joyous that I got to go OUT! Still feel like I have the flu but I should be over that in a few days - a week tops. Feeling better is the greatest!

A Pox Upon Me

From now on I think instead of using vulgar language to emphasize my distaste for someone I'm going to say "a pox upon thee." Now I won't mean it in the tradition of the sixteenth century curse - which wished syphilis upon someone. I will mean it in more modern day terms. As in, I hope you get the chicken pox or some similar virus.

You see, I was diagnosed yesterday with such a condition. They can't say for sure if it is chicken pox or coxsackie virus - both are common childhood illnesses. The test to determine which would take weeks, if not months, because it would have to be sent to the state lab. Either way I should be better before we'd be able to get the test results and the treatment is mostly the same. If I end up in the hospital they'll rush the test and determine how best to proceed but until that time it's unnecessary. It's always a bright spot in the visit when the doctor suggests that your illness could involve a trip to the hospital. Why is it they never involve trips to Hawaii? I'd much rather possibly to go to Hawaii if my condition worsens than some hospital.

But, alas, I won't be going anywhere anytime soon. I'm highly contagious so I can't go out of the house. No grocery store, no Target, no trips to Starbucks for coffee. My Saturday has been a dismal day of bad television, naps, and medication. All the while trying hard not to scratch. I have a fever, an awful headache, a sore throat, and so many itchy, disgusting, did I say itchy, spots I lost count. What I don't have is enough anti-bodies to fight this disgusting virus but while I stay home they are supposed to accumulate. Although I look like someone quite unattractive I still have an overwhelming desire to leave the house. All because I am not allowed.

I think, given my current state, "a pox upon thee" is a better way of telling someone how distasteful I find them than any other phrase. Now if I could just find the person that cursed me!

Facebook

So, I like many people in the world, have a profile on Facebook. Facebook is amusing on it's own - you can play games, challenge your friends to trivia contests, throw odd things at people, and find people you have lost touch with. I also find Facebook amusing for it's soap opera qualities. There are often things posted on some of my friends' walls that tell what kind of drama they have going on at the moment. Very amusing. But, today was more than amusement available to me it was an interesting look at how we think.

I should start by saying one of my friends on Facebook is my 15 year old cousin. Today she had posted under the section that tells people what you are doing "wants to know why I likee you so wen you're just a waste of my timee." Truer words were never spoken, especially at 15 years old. At that age you discover that you like someone that you know is a complete waste of your time but you can't seem to let go of the like. What's more you really WANT to know why you like someone that's a waste of your time.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that those feelings don't go away as one gets older. There are still inappropriate people that cross your path as you age and inevitably they will be the ones you find most attractive. It is a cruel joke that the universe plays because you never really discover why those are the people you find most attractive. Some things are better left discovered for yourself and not told to you by someone older and wiser. Besides, at 15 she's unlikely to believe me. I wouldn't have believed it at her age.