You Think Your Job Stinks

I was listening to National Public Radio today, as I often do, and the host was talking to some puppet builders - not political masterminds actual puppet makers. He commented that controlling a marionette was kind of like being God and how playing with puppets made him realize how much he didn't want to be God. Because "you never get to sleep at night and no one ever does what you say." Oh, how wise you are Frank Stasio. It got me thinking of the reasons why I don't want to be God and I thought I'd share. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Don't Want To Be God
1. People constantly misquote you. And, even when you don't say anything they debate what your silence means.
2. No time to go to the bathroom in peace.
3. If you forget one small detail about someone's life because you have something big going on at work - like say an earthquake in India for instance - you run the risk of them thinking you don't really love them.
4. You always get blamed for the things that go wrong even if you had nothing to do with them. ie: Weather changes caused by Global Warming - AKA "Acts of God."
5. No one ever wants to come see you - no matter how much they say they do it's all just talk - when it's time for the actual visit they all say they don't want to go just yet.
6. Not only do your underlings constantly fight but they each claim you are on their side. When really you are staying out of it and hoping they come to their senses and stop acting like imbeciles.
7. No one ever tells you a joke.
8. You can never go on vacation. Your work follows you everywhere - people stalk you religiously.
9. Ebay is full of potato chips and other weird products that people claim to resemble you.
10. Most people assume they can do whatever they want without real consequence because they think you'll cover for them and somehow keep them out of trouble.