A Wedding Story

I am, for the most part, an easy going girl. I kind of roll with the punches and figure when things don't go the way I'd like that there has to be some sort of reason; one that will become clearer to me later on. So, when I found out I'd have to go to this wedding in West Virginia by myself I planned an excursion and figured the real reason for this change would become apparent later. It did so today - it's because God loves me.

I don't really know how to describe the wedding I attended today but I will try. I do, however, know for certain that there is no way that my description will do justice to the events as they actually occurred. Nor will I be able to convey just how many times I whispered to myself, "thank you Jesus for making me come to this wedding by myself." Because, like I said, I'm a roll with the punches kind of girl so all of the things that happened I took in stride. Not everyone else was able to do so and I'm afraid Clark Kent would have had problems with today as well. And nothing that happened today upset me but I would have been stressed out if I had to worry about his reaction.

I guess I should start at the beginning and say this was the wedding of my former step-mother. She was married to my father for more than 20 years until my father had an affair and their marriage broke up. I was always close to her and have remained so even after their divorce seven years ago. Today she was marrying a former world champion frisbee player. He's an easy-going, personable, friendly, fun-loving younger man who'd do just about anything to make her happy. In other words the polar opposite of my father. The wedding was set at a small lakeside community in a tiny town in the mountains of West Virginia. My former step-mother is originally from NY and her new hubby is originally from Canada - with family in NY and NJ. She has lived in WV since the late 1970's in a hippie kind of community and I have often called her an "earth biscuit."

Let's just say it's the wedding between the Earth Biscuit Bride (EBB) and the Frisbee Champion Groom (FCG). So, EBB's family is small and mostly from NY and New England and they all came for the wedding. FCG's family is fairly large and from NY, NJ, and Canada and they too came for the wedding. The other guests were from various circles in their lives; the frisbee people, the jugglers, the school people, and the hippies. To say that the dress code varied would be an understatement. There were people dressed comparable to me - I wore a tasteful v-neck Evan Picone purple dress, black stockings, and black Cole Haan heels and appropriate jewelry. Then there were people dressed like they were going to the flea market. One man had on a black wife beater and faded plaid golf pants. And there were several degrees of dress in between the extremes.

Prior to the ceremony there was entertainment on the lawn near the clubhouse. There were dancing bears, jugglers, frisbee tosses, a woman with masks and fans doing a butterfly dance, a couple other dressed up characters, and a couple of musicians. Oh, I almost forgot - there was also a mime! At the start of the ceremony certain guests walked through the arches of paper streams - this you'd had to have seen- and down the aisle to their seats. (I found out after the ceremony that I'd messed up and I was supposed to do this but my brother forgot to tell me.) Anyway, the grandmothers were escorted by ushers as is somewhat traditional. Except for one grandma her usher was the mime. I am not kidding. The mime walked Grandma down the aisle with huge exaggerated steps and made all kinds of jokes along the way. At one point he took a red hankerchief out of his pocket, jumped ahead of slow walking Grandma in the aisle, and pretended he was a matador and she was a bull. That's just one of the things the mime did to Grandma before letting her sit down. FCG's family - some of whom were seated near me didn't think the mime was so funny. Meanwhile, others in the crowd cackled and encouraged him to do more and more things to poor Grandma. I can't say I didn't laugh. Hey, how often do you see a mime at a wedding?

Then came the EBB down the aisle - with her bridesmaids, flower girl, and the woman with the fans in front of her. When EBB and FCG were side by side there was another woman that sang a song. A song that apparently we were all supposed to sing along with the chorus. However, no one ever gave us a program so we did not know this. The minister seemed to be unaware of this - even though she didn't know the words to the chorus - and actually got irritated and chastised everyone for not singing along. The middle portion of the ceremony focused on love and how well-suited EBB and FCG seem for one another. (They are well-suited for one another.) Then the minister asked for the rings. The best man didn't have them. The musicians started to play ominous music - like from an old western. Then the mime stood up in the back and raced towards the front. He acted out a whole scenario, going up to various people and checking to see if they'd stolen the rings, and ended with him finding one of the dancing bears in the clubhouse. Turns out the dancing bear had the rings on a pillow. Cause he was the "ring bear" - get it? Then the ring bear danced up the aisle to the best man.

After the ceremony was over I had to help my sister with her processing of the wedding. She likes FCG fine and is happy with him as her step-father but she thought the wedding was a farce. I mostly listened and offered some big sister advice. I, of course, had been thanking Jesus most of the time that Clark Kent wasn't there. So, I couldn't really fault her for being upset. I just told her maybe she should try and alter her expectations of her mother, otherwise she'd end up disappointed a lot.

The rest of the evening went much like weddings do - I had dinner with a couple of FCG's uncles. Nice gentlemen from NY. We talked NY and baseball. Once they found out I loved baseball too I was in with their family. Then various people tried to set me up with a young groomsman. Ah, one of the "joys" of going to a wedding alone. And, my personal favorite, my brother got drunk. Not only did he get drunk but he then tried to dance when they started calling some contra dances. (I did mention that the wedding was in West Virginia, right?!) So, there were several Canadians and New Yorkers trying to contra dance and that was funny enough but the funniest was my brother.

After a couple of giggles at his expense I went to say goodbye to the happy couple. They were still beaming, positively glowing, at each other. Maybe everyone should start off their married lives with a mime.