Personal Trainer + Boyfriend = Disaster

Top Ten Reasons Why You Should NOT Date Your Personal Trainer
10. There is no romantic allure about what you may look like sweaty, panting, and overheated.
9. Instead of wondering if he ever thinks critically about your body you will know for sure that he does when he says something like, "do another set of squats it will help to lift your butt up."
8. You will not get away with complaining to this trainer as you did with others. No longer will whining or refusal to do another set be acceptable.
7. Your food choices over dinner will lead to discussions of nutrition and how you are straying from the trainer's stringent guidelines.
6. Many conversations will lead back to why you did not do something you were advised to do. This is meant to be helpful but it will likely only be annoying.
5. Your muscles will suffer the consequences of any unresolved issues between you. No longer will the gym be a place of solace and stress relief but one where you will be punished for a difference of opinion.
4. Stretching and massaging of muscles is now expected to be reciprocal.
3. Your desire to not appear weak in front of him will cause you to overdo it and you will be in considerable pain the next day. Which of course you must hide and suffer through because you don't want him to know what a weakling you really are.
2. Accomplishments are no longer "yours" they are "ours." As in, "we really worked your muscles good with that one." Funny, I seem to recall lifting that weight entirely on my own.
1. It's a difficult situation to get out of once you're in it. If you would rather have a different trainer you'll likely have to get a new boyfriend as he will probably take offense at having his professional services dismissed. And if you decide you'd rather have a new boyfriend there is no way you can have your ex as your trainer (see #5) so you'll have to find a new trainer.

Off to ice my entire body and reflect on how potentially disagreeable conversation topics should be brought up after a training session not before it. At least there's a positive - I'm definitely getting smarter about the role of timing.

The Intersection of Laughless Road & Memory Lane

Just over a month ago I met a guy that didn't make me laugh. If you read my previous post you know I clearly had to say "yes" when he asked me out. I am still dating him even though he's not funny to me. It's been a fairly laughless road so far and I don't foresee that changing. He doesn't crack jokes or make witty comments and he gets an odd expression whenever I do. I haven't quite figured out if that expression means he doesn't get what I just said - and therefore doesn't get me - or if he understood it perfectly and just doesn't think I'm funny. What amazes me most is how intriguing I find this reaction. It's almost like I continue dating him just because I have no idea why he continues to pursue me if we can't laugh together. It made me realize just how pertinent I think laughter is to a relationship.

I have also had to reflect on how previous relationships, and choices I've made in them, have effected my life overall. You see he lives in a town I used to live in and when I lived there the guy I dated lived where I live now. (All very full circle, I know.) Going to his house takes me past places I used to haunt many moons ago. And not much has changed in the small town he lives in so lots of old memories have surfaced. When I lived there I was floating and my boyfriend at the time threw me a line. Because of the old relationship, I ended up in a different state with a new job and a new career path. I made contacts and friends and built a life that ultimately didn't include that guy. But it all started back in that small town when I thought I knew a lot about love, myself, what I wanted, and how to make a relationship work. Turns out I really knew nothing.

Now I find myself at a crossroads again. I'm about to go off in pursuit of a new dream and new career but I'm being offered a stable small town life filled with many of the things I think I want. This time the only thing I know for sure is I know nothing for certain. But now I don't need someone else to throw me a line. I can tether myself. Maybe that's part of why I find this new fella so enticing because, although I don't laugh as much as before, I haven't lost my sense of self with him.